


Yule need a plan

by Franniesgurrl



Series: Scientific Discoveries [5]
Category: Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8750692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Franniesgurrl/pseuds/Franniesgurrl
Summary: The Agency Christmas party approaches and we all know what that means.





	1. Eggs, Toast, Sausage - the perfect breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't sure I was going to try for anything seasonal but now I'm missing home and the possibility of a white Christmas and figured some unrepentant porn would cheer me up.

Ephraim knew something was up when he looked up to find Francine gazing at him thoughtfully across the breakfast table. It was a sight he would never get sick of, he thought, the most beautiful woman in the world wearing nothing but a loose robe sitting in his kitchen, lips swollen from kissing, cheeks reddened from his morning stubble, blonde hair still tousled from the way his hands had run through it… His cock was already stirring again when he realized her expressive eyes had narrowed.  
“What?” he asked, desperately trying to think if he’d done anything wrong. She’d seemed pretty happy an hour ago when she’d been riding him through her orgasm, but then again, Francine Desmond never failed to surprise.

  
“Christmas,” was the cryptic answer.

  
Ephraim panicked for a moment. “I didn’t miss it, did I?”

  
Francine threw her napkin at him across the table. “Of course you didn’t miss it, you idiot! How could you miss Christmas?”

  
“Because I'm Jewish?” he said.

  
Francine stared at him for a long moment, completely speechless. “Are you?” she asked finally.

  
“No. I'm just messing with you to get out of buying you a present,” he answered.

  
“Shows how much you know – you’d have to buy me eight,” she smirked.

  
“True, but not good ones,” he answered. “It would just be stuff like underwear and socks.”

  
“So you’re not planning on buying me lingerie and silk stockings?” she asked, leaning forward and letting her robe fall open just enough to let him see one rose-tipped breast. “I find that hard to believe.”

  
“That’s not the only thing you’ll find hard if you keep looking at me like that,” he muttered.

  
She let her gaze drop and licked her lips as if she could actually see through the table to what was stirring underneath his pajama pants. Then she shook herself and brought her eyes up to meet his amused ones. “Christmas,” she repeated. “To be specific, the office Christmas party.”

  
“Ah,” he said, trying not to smile. “The party, of course. What about it?”

  
“What are you going to do at the party?” she asked.

  
Ephraim shrugged. “I don’t know, eat cookies, drink punch, avoid the fruitcake – all the things people usually do at the party.”

  
“Stop being obtuse, Beaman – what are you going to do at the party? People will be waiting to see what you do this year, you know.”

  
“Can’t I do what I always do? Pretend to get drunk and get people to tell me their little secrets?”

  
“As fun as that sounds, you can’t do it this time.”

  
“Why not? It’s the most fun I get all year,” he pretended to whine. She arched a brow and he quickly backtracked. “Well, it used to be.”

  
“Well, you can’t this year because Billy would have your head. If you drink, people will expect you to hit on me, and if you hit on me, Billy won’t let you be my partner anymore.”  
Ephraim let out a long whistle. “I hadn’t thought of that. It’s going to be so dull.”

  
Francine looked around for something else to throw but found nothing, so settled giving off an angry snort. “So what’s the plan going to be? People will be watching.”  
“Guess it’s your turn to do something embarrassing.” He stopped as if struck by a sudden thought. “I know! How about you and Stetson have a huge fight and break up?”

  
Francine giggled and got up to walk around the table, leaning down to kiss him. “Aww, Beaman, does it bother you that much that everyone thinks we’re dating?”

  
He pulled her onto his lap and nuzzled her neck. “If his wife can put up with it, I suppose I’ll just have to manage,” he grumbled. “After all, people can think what they want but I get to do this.” He pushed her robe open further and slowly ran his tongue across her nipple, delighting at the speed with which it hardened at his touch. He took it slowly into his mouth and sucked, her moan of desire sending shock waves straight to his groin.

  
Her fingers curled into his hair, holding him in place while she ground against him. His hand reached up to cup her other breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers in counterpoint to the pressure he was applying with his lips and tongue. He closed his teeth gently, just enough to produce a reaction as he pinched the other, evoking a gasp and a tightening of her grip, her fingernails scraping into his scalp.

  
“And I get to do this,” he pulled the tie on the robe and pushed it aside, sliding his hands around her waist and caressing her skin, raising goosebumps as he trailed his fingers across her most ticklish spots. “And this – no one else would even think about getting to do this.” One hand drifted down to the small of her back and he left one finger begin to brush up and down the crease of her buttocks, feathering against the puckered hole as her breath hitched and she began to tremble. “We could do this at the party. That would give them something to talk about.”

  
Francine stood, then immediately sat back down, but now straddling his legs, sighing with satisfaction as his hands found their way back to their previous positions. “It would give us something to talk about too – during all those hours on the unemployment line.”

  
“Mmmm, good point,” he muttered against her skin. “But we never have tried fucking in the bullpen after all your promises. I feel like maybe this could be my year.”

  
“Practice makes perfect.” Her hand slid down between them and wrapped around his throbbing cock, her thumb idly circling the sensitive top. “We should probably figure out if doing it on top of my desk would even be any fun.”

  
“Oh, there’s no doubt it would be fun, but it probably shouldn’t be tried without a dry run for logistics,” he agreed, canting up against her grip.

  
“Dry run?” she pouted.

  
“Poor choice of words,” he grunted. He gripped her waist and lifted her to the table edge, despite her gasp of protest, and leaned forward to sink his face between her legs.

  
“Ephraim! We eat here!” she laughed, wriggling to get away but not very hard.

  
“That’s my plan,” was his muffled reply. His tongue swirled around her clit, which was rising to meet him despite her half-hearted protests.

  
When his fingers joined the melody, scraping their way along her perineum and then into her warmth to tickle the over sensitive flesh within, she leaned back on her hands on the table, and despite her earlier efforts to escape, now she hooked a leg over his shoulder to pull him closer.

  
Soon her breath was hitching in rhythm to his motions and he felt her beginning to tremble under his mouth. He redoubled his efforts even as he delighted in how quickly she responded to him. He glanced up without stopping, mesmerized by the sight of her arched backwards, eyes closed, biting her lip, skin flushed, whimpering… if he wasn’t careful he was going to come just from watching her.

  
He was so entranced by the sight of her splayed out for him that her orgasm almost took him by surprise, the low keening of satisfaction cut short when he pulled her down onto his lap and covered her mouth with his. She moaned against his lips even as she lifted herself up and slid down back down into his cock, echoing his cry of satisfaction as he filled her. The lingering spasms of her peak shuddered against him and he wrapped his arms around her body, face pressed against the pillow of her breasts as she rocked and squeezed until the blessed whiteout began and he came with a hoarse cry.

  
“Breakfast of Champions,” she murmured into his ear when they’d both caught their breath.

  
“All my Christmases rolled into one,” he answered with a low laugh, his breath tickling her collarbone as he kissed it gently.

  
“Which reminds me: we definitely need to figure out what we’re doing at the Christmas party because we just scratched that one off the list.”


	2. Yours for a Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas party... oh my.

Francine was right. The whole room was watching him, waiting to see if he was going for a repeat performance this year. He was leaning on the north wall, as far from the crowd as he could get, watching them watch him. He glanced over to the table where Billy was handing out fruitcake and realized that even he was giving him stern looks.

“Feeling a bit besieged?” asked a laughing voice beside him. He turned to find Amanda holding out a plastic cup. “It’s not the spiked stuff, I promise.”

“Thank you,” he said gratefully, taking it from her. “I’ve been afraid to go anywhere near the food table.”

“So Francine tells me you’ve never actually been drunk at these parties?” she asked.

“No – they’re way more fun when you’re sober,” he agreed. “People do the most extraordinary things and if you’re lucky, they do something you can use against them later.”

“Ephraim! You know I can’t take you seriously as an evil blackmailer.”

“Really? Because I have credible information you’re hooking up with someone at the office and yet I haven’t seen a poppyseed cake on my desk for weeks.” He shook his head with mock sorrow and watched Amanda’s dark eyes light up with humor. For the first time since he walked in, he really relaxed, facing the warmth of that smile. “I'm sorry,” he added.

“Sorry for what?” Amanda looked completely confused for the extra comment. “Liking my cake? Or have you actually outed us?” She didn’t look like she believed that though.

“I'm sorry I was such a dick to you when you were in my classes,” he answered. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“Oh that!” She was laughing again now, hand squeezing his arm. “I never minded that. I couldn’t have been the easiest student to have the way I kept getting pulled off to help Lee with things. I never said thank you properly for all the assignments you let me do when I was off on medical leave all those months.”

“Still, I was kind of a turd. I thought you made me look bad, truth be told. And I thought Stetson had to be helping you, the way you kept finding the bad guys.”

“No, that’s just my lucky streak of always being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it makes you feel any better, he got very ‘frustrated’ when I was too busy with that Static Aerospace assignment to do anything else.”

“Anything else?” he said, starting to laugh.

Amanda nodded. “Oh yes, I only had one thing on my mind – floor wax.”

By now he was laughing in earnest. “Floor wax, really? I bet that went over well. Mind you, that’s when I knew you had done it on your own because Stetson really ate crow over that security analysis.”

“Can Scarecrows eat crow?” she answered. “Well, it all worked out in the end anyway – and I got to keep my job.”

“And you got an A+ on your assignment,” he finished.

“That too.” She moved closer and picked an imaginary piece of lint off his sleeve, dropping her voice so low that only he could hear her. “So how many people in this room think I’m hitting on a much younger man?”

Startled, he glanced up and let his eyes sweep the room, barely stifling a smile when he saw the interest they’d attracted. “Um, all of them? Including your husband?”

Amanda stepped back and slapped his arm with a chuckle. To anyone watching it would have looked flirtatious, but he knew better – he’d been up close with her and Lee when all their guards were down and they were almost telepathically linked. He’d never met a couple more in tune with each other than those two. ‘Hardly surprising after everything they’d been through together,’ he thought.

There was a ripple of conversation in the corner and a squeal of some kind of microphone at that point and most heads turned to see what was going on.

“Oh God, anything but that!” muttered Ephraim as he recognized what they were crowded around.

“What is it?” asked Amanda.

“One of those sing-a-long karaoke machines that are starting to get popular,” he explained. “I’ve had to give up two of my favorite bars when they brought them in. People get drinking and think they’re God’s gift to music and believe me, they never are.”

“Some of us are,” said a low voice beside them. Lee chuckled at the way he’d made them both jump.

“As if,” replied Amanda.

“Amanda has a very poor opinion of my singing skills. She says I can’t even carry a tune.”

“Yeah, you can – in a bucket.”

Ephraim watched the byplay between them with a grin. They had the act down so cold now that it simply didn’t occur to anyone in the office that they were anything but friends and partners. Which reminded him… he looked around, trying to spot his own partner, certain she’d be far from the mob, but finally spotting her right in the middle of it, flipping through the binder of songs.

“Oh my God – please tell me Francine can actually sing.” This could be unbearable if she couldn’t, especially with the wrong song choice.

Amanda looked surprised. “Haven’t you ever heard her? She’s pretty good.”

Pretty good. Yes, that about summed up what little he’d heard from her, half-singing along with the car radio or occasionally through the half-open door of the shower. But actual singing – no he’d never heard that.

“She doesn’t seem the karaoke type,” he muttered, already lining up phrases in his head that he could use to make her feel better if she went through with it.

“Oh she isn’t,” Lee said cheerfully, “but she lost a game of Truth or Dare a few months back when we were stuck on surveillance and I had to use it up before New Year’s. This seemed like the perfect time.”

“Lee!” Amanda punched him in the arm. “You know I was going to use that to make her try to bake something for Christmas!”

“Well, this is safer for all of us then. I'm doing us all a favor.” Ephraim was so intent in watching Francine that he missed the nod and wink Lee gave Amanda and her sudden expression of understanding.

By this time, quite a number of people had attempted songs, some more successfully than others, more often than not falling by the wayside laughing at their own lack of talent. It was Fred Fielder – of course – who yelled at Francine across the room. “So, Desmond, ya gonna show us your chops or what?”

“Well, you’re certainly not ever going to see ‘or what’, Fred so you’ll have to settle for a song.” While the rest of the room was still laughing at the way she’d burned him, Francine chatted to the guy running the machine and picked up a microphone.

_Please don’t be ‘I will survive’, please, please, please…_

He didn’t recognise the intro at first, although the impish grin on her face should have tipped him off. She opened her mouth to sing and he was so dumbstruck by the deep breathy voice that came out of her that his jaw dropped and he didn’t even take in her song choice until she was well underway.

 _Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me_  
Been an awful good girl  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Her voice never broke from its intentionally over-sultry delivery as he tried to pick his jaw up off the floor, but her eyes twinkled at him all the way across the room. He turned to look accusingly at Lee and Amanda who were shaking with laughter.

 _Think of all the fun I've missed_  
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could be oh so good  
If you'll check off my Christmas list…

“She cannot be doing this,” he thought. “Not with the whole room watching.” The wink she sent his way told him she could. The guffaws of laughter from the couple beside him is what finally tipped him off to her plan. Lee had carefully positioned himself and Amanda so close by that there wasn’t one person on the room who wouldn’t think it wasn’t aimed at Lee. When he turned his head and met Amanda’s slight wink, he knew he was right. He turned back to watch her finish, shaking his head in disbelief.

 _Come and trim my Christmas tree_  
With some decorations bought at Tiffany  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me

The rest of the room obviously remembered the lyrics better than he did because they were already hooting and hollering by the time she hit the last verse.

 _Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring_  
I don't mean on the phone  
Santa baby, and hurry down my chimney tonight 

“Look out for your toes Stetson! That’s a pretty heavy hint she’s dropping!” yelled Fred across the room to much applause and laughs. Lee just grinned and called up to Francine, “Okay, you win! I admit you can sing!”

Ephraim looked past him to where Billy was shaking his head sorrowfully at the antics even as he tried to keep in his own belly laugh.

“I shouldn’t admit this,” said Amanda’s voice at his elbow. “But I never used to think lying and cheating was any fun until I got to do stuff like this. A room full of spies and not one of them seems to have figured it out yet.”

Lee had walked to meet Francine halfway across the room, lifting her hand to kiss it with a flourish as she sank into a curtsey before they both walked back to where Amanda and Ephraim were waiting.

“I don’t think naughty girls deserve anything from Santa, do you?” he asked as his petite firecracker smiled up at him.

Her azure eyes peeped up through her lashes making her look far too demure for the situation. “Oh, I never wanted anything from the real Santa,” she answered. “He only comes once a year.”

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep a straight face, but fortunately the rest of the room were ignoring them by now, distracted by whatever nonsense had been pulled up as the next song selection.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he shook his head in despair.

“Just a little bit,” she smiled back at him.

“You know, if you and Lee hurry up and leave for whatever dirty weekend everyone thinks you have planned, Ephraim and I could leave to go drown our sorrows and we could all salvage the rest of this evening,” chimed in Amanda.

“Brilliant idea, Amanda – we’ll make a spy out of you yet. Nedlinger’s in twenty?” Francine linked her arm through Lee’s. “Come on, handsome, let’s give ‘em something to talk about.” As they walked across the bullpen, Lee pulled his arm free and draped it across Francine’s shoulders, pulling her in to say something to her quietly that had her convulsed with laughter.

Amanda glanced up at Ephraim, studying his face. “Either that’s a heck of an act you’re putting on for the people watching or it bothers you when they do that.”

Ephraim looked back down at her, smiling when he saw the furrow of concern on her face. “Those two? Nah, she loves him but not like that.”

Amanda’s face cleared as she nodded. “Yeah, they understand each other in a weird way that I never will. So if it’s not worry, what is it?”

“You are too damn perceptive, Amanda King,” he laughed. “I was just thinking it would be nice to be able to be the one walking out with her like that.”

“Well, you are in a way,” she said. “Just out of sight a bit.”

“Don’t you get tired of it though? Always having to keep it a secret?”

“Oh goodness yes! You know that! Probably better than anyone,” she said, as they both smiled at the memory of Lee blurting out the story of their marriage.

“What does he know better than anyone?” asked Billy who had appeared beside them, holding a fruitcake for each of them in his hands.

“That any man that gets Francine is a very lucky man,” answered Amanda without hesitation, taking one of the cakes and ticking it under her arm.

“If you say so,” answered Billy with a tinge of doubt.

“You know Mrs. King doesn’t like to lie,” said Ephraim blandly. “If she says Scarecrow is lucky in love, I’m sure no one would know it better than her.”

Billy looked between the two of them in confusion as Amanda blushed.

“You know, I really need to get going,” she said. “Mother and the boys are waiting to get going on the family Christmas stuff. Tell Ginnie thank you for the cake – my mother just loves them.”

“I’ll walk you out if you’d like, Mrs. King,” said Ephraim. “I have plans for the evening as well.”

Billy didn’t look entirely like he believed that, but wished them both a happy Christmas as they headed out the door.

“Does your mother really like fruitcake?” Ephraim asked Amanda as they walked to the elevator.

“She really does,” said Amanda. “She has this whole family tree thing going trying to link us to Princess Diana and she swears her love of fruitcake must be genetic.”

“She must have been thrilled when you married a King,” murmured Ephraim as he leaned forward to press the elevator button.

“You know, I never thought of that,” said Amanda, sounding surprised, but laughing. “That’s probably exactly why she liked Joe.”

“Well then, allow me to make a donation to the cause,” said Ephraim, handing her the cake he was carrying.

“Thank you,” said Amanda, sounding genuinely pleased.

Ephraim waited for her to run up to the Q Bureau and grab her coat and purse before they walked out together and down the street toward Nedlinger’s. Walking in from the cold, Ephraim’s glasses steamed up and so it took him a moment to spot Lee and Francine waiting for them. They were side by side in a circular booth, heads together laughing in a way that used to drive him crazy and for several seconds they were unaware that he and Amanda had arrived, but in the same moment, they glanced up to check the door and saw their partners walking toward them and their faces lit up with identical smiles.

“I think we’re lucky in love, Mrs. King,” he remarked.

“Very lucky, Mr. Beaman,” she answered. “Very lucky indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> There might be more of this but don't get your hopes up. It's a busy time of year.


End file.
